I have got few e-mails as reaction about my thought over the photo
equipment. Those discussions are now turning more around a point why this
situation actually occurred. It is really interesting and I am glad I have
few people here who can help me to look and the things from other side.
My wifes reaction when I told her about Leica (she knew already that I
struggle little bit with my childhood theme) was:
"Isn't there something
else wrong? New camera woudn't solved that problem would it?"
Than today i have got e-mail from
Dirk where he wrote:
"Usually when one is thinking one needs more equipment, the opposite is
true. Something else is blocking you, you have to find out what it is and
solve it. After you have done that, maybe you decide you need another
camera, but at least you know why and what you going to do with it."
Those discussions let me thinking more about this and as I wrote back to
Dirk:
I have similar feeling as you describe. Something is blocking me. Last
autumn I met one very good person, photographer and after discussion with
her and watching my pictures she advice me to pickup a theme and work on it
little longer (she had in mind something like year). I already in that time
had idea that I like to document feelings from my childhood. Around age of
35 I start having really a lot of memories from my childhood and was
wondering how to fix them so I will not forget them when I get older. And
than I choose for that as my project, and I like to made it the way that
more people who look at images will remind their own time when there were
young.
Working on it for more than eight month now I am more and more realizing
that it is very difficult to do it the way I imagine especially when I have
rather limited time for photographing and even living in country I never
was as a child.
So I shoot a lot of children and places where they play, shadows on wall
when you go sleep, shapes which reminds table where you use to take
breakfast before going to school and similar things.
And I am getting feeling that it is maybe too much to do this as a first
project and I start thinking about do something little more easier and
shorter first. I start thinking about do some project about chess players
in club where I used to play. I discussed that a bit with
Dave where I was writing that maybe
that is why I need Leica :-) to not disturb people while they playing. He
wrote me back:
"Correct - I guess I was saying that a silent camera with fast lens is
necessary condition - but not enough on its own to get you through the
process.
But even with an absolutely quiet camera, the real challenge is to develop
a relationship with some of the players, and then expand from there.
Another thing is that if you do know everyone there - you might get their
permission to shoot with a slightly noisier camera with a longer lens from
further away."
And than Dirk wrote today morning:
"Could it be that you have over-estimated yourself a little? Lifting
100kg at the beginning, when you should start with 10kg? Any project that
takes that long will challenge you to the maximum. And this one is your
first. Plus, you are in a different country etc. which I think is great,
because it adds something universal about childhood, because it is the same
in essence everywhere... just like people are the same everywhere, with
little variation (you played pogi, they play something else). My point is
maybe you should put this project in the backburner and start with
something you can complete in 1-2 months. Then you will have an achievement
and some experience how to take on the big one.
"
This feels like good way and perfectly fits to what I had somehow in back
of my mind and coudn't realize fully.
Thank you all for this, now things are more clear!
